Letting Go Of Guilt & Shame

To the women who feels like she isn’t seen, heard, or maybe just surviving… this one is for you. Today I want to share a post about letting go of the guilt and shame that often accompanies women when it comes to self-care or prioritizing themselves. I see it often in my studio; mother’s, daughters, nieces, entrepreneurs; women who are just tired of the constantly threading water trying to stay afloat.

It’s Our Nature

As women we are known for our nurturing behavior. It is something we all saw in old movies, read about in our texts books. The women were taking care of the kids, making the dinners, cleaning the house, and keeping her husband happy. Now working our way into 2024 we also see a rise in female entrepreneurs rising to the top of the business world. I remember reading a well known female CEO’s blog about 10 years ago, and how she raved about wearing numerous hats. She was the CEO, the wife, the mother, the daughter, the friend, the list continued on… I used to think wow I want to be just like her.

If you have read anything about my story you know what happens next. For those that don’t, long story short I was in massive career burnout, my relationship was struggling, I was experiencing panic attacks and depression. My point is, we as women are told by society & other women that we have to be everything for everyone. It is our nature to carry it all, to do it all, to be there, & to do it better.

A Different Narrative

Call it against the grain if you will, but I choose to it see it as writing a different narrative for myself and the women who step into my studio.

” I am taking care of everything. I am there for my kids, my friends, my parents, my business, my spouse, and I am exhausted.” I get it, I was there too in a different compactly but I was so busy, so consumed by taking care of everyone else that I forgot about myself. My therapist one session looked at me and said, “Hannah who is taking care of you?”

No one was… and in reality it is nobody else’s business but my own to take care of me. It is my responsibility to take care of me. I decided that was the day I was going to change my narrative. It has and will continue to be my agreement to myself.

Selfish, Guilt, Shame

Sounds completely selfish right? Here is the thing, when we are saying yes to ourselves it doesn’t mean that we are saying no to everyone else forever, it just means no for right now. There is a time and a place to be there for your kids, your business, your spouse, siblings, but there is also a time and place to be there for YOU. To check in with you, to say:

“What do I need today?”

“What does my body, my heart, my soul need today?”

Take a moment to answer the question

This guilt and shame that accompanies self-care often brings along with it anger, resentment, sadness, illness, depression, anxiousness, and an overall feeling of overwhelm. So for a moment I want you to think about someone you love, care for. Could be a friend, family member, someone you are connected too. As you picture them in your mind, what would say to them if they told you that they needed what your answer was to the questions above?

A Moment For You

Would you shame them? Would you guilt them or look down on them? As you sit here reading this I don’t want you to beat yourself up. Nothing good happens from that place, instead practice a little patience with yourself. Give yourself some grace, because for a long time you felt that you had to take it all on. To carry it all, to do it all, but now you might want something a little different for yourself. Maybe you softly say to yourself,

“I see you, hear you, I am listening.”

You are worth it

Prioritizing your wellbeing is something new. As you go into this new journey of self-care go in with an open mind and open heart. Come from a place of curiosity and compassion as you learn more about yourself, what you want, and what you need. You are worth it.

“I see you.”

“I hear you.”

“I am listening.”

If you are in need of some guidance please don’t hesitate to reach out.

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