Fears are extremely personal; which is why it is not always discussed because nobody can look at you and say. ” At this moment you are going to be able to get over your fear.” But if we can change the way we look at fear then hopefully it will allow you to start breaking down the barriers of fear and take the next step towards your goal.
What are fears?
First we need to understand what exactly fears are to fully understand how we can use them to our advantage as well as achieve them! The first thing you need to know about fears is that they are very vivid, imaginative, suspenseful, which is why they feel so real when they come up for us. Let’s break down each barrier here…
Vivid & Imaginative
We all have had those crazy vivid fears when we were kids; monsters under the bed, something hiding in the closet, a fan turning into a monster and coming to get you….That last one might be just me. The point is that as adults when a child has a fear we say that they have a very vivid imagination. As adults we lean into our logical side and know that there aren’t any monster’s under the bed, so while the imagination falls away the vividness of our fears stay with us. This vividness allows us to create stories around these fears.
Stories & Tellings
For a moment think about fear as a story in a book. The story is vivid, it has characters, it has plots, it has twists and turns, it has a lot of what ifs within it. There are two parts of the brain that have created these stories. On the right hand side you have the fight or flight brain that is trying to keep you safe, so it cultivates a huge storyline of fear to keep you “safe”. What I encourage my mindfulness clients to do is to be the observer without getting attached to the story.
As the begin to observer how what thoughts are arising, what stories are being told they are able to grab the pen and be the author of their own story.
The Breaking Down
The hardest part of fears is all of the noise. The vividness of the fear based story is LOUD, which makes it harder to hear what might be under it. This is where guide meditation and mindfulness can help to quite the internal noise and look what might be under these vivid fears. For some it can be a childhood memory, someone else’s opinion, a person who told them they couldn’t do something.
So here are a few tips to get you started into breaking down the barriers of fear.
- Get quiet, find a space where you can be still and unbothered.
- Bring up something that you want to accomplish
- Identify the fear that is coming up for you? Where do you feel it within your body?
- Who’s voice is telling you the vivid storyline?
- Is it true what they are saying?
This process can be heavy, if you need someone to guide you through please reach out.
Taking The Step Forward
For most of us the stories that we created in our minds are not true. They feel real because we got caught up within the storyline and attached an emotion to it. When you slow down enough to reflect and acknowledge what is occurring within the brain you can look at it with appreciation. Your mind is trying to protect you, however it doesn’t always know what is best for you. If you find yourself struggling to take the step, feel free to listen to my courage meditation.
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